Team Led by MIT Develops First Purely Objective Game Review in Time For 2020 GOTY Awards

After years of failure, mixed-discipline team led by MIT Mathematics Lab develops the world’s first completely objective video game review. 

December 18 — In what is already being hailed as the greatest breakthrough of the decade, a team of scientists, mathematicians, and Redditors have developed a formula for calculating a game’s true review score. The system, which was specifically designed to weed out any opinion or bias, instead rates video games based only on their objective merit. 

“Objectivity was the objective.”

“Objectivity was the objective,” explains Professor of Applied Mathematics Rosalina Hamilton-Carasco. “For too long, game reviews have been mired in arbitrary opinion and inherent reviewer bias. Is it fun to play? Who’s to say? What does fun even mean? How do you define it in a way that is consistent to everyone who plays the game?”

Hamilton-Carasco stopped short of saying what, exactly, “objective qualities” are. She also admits that their paper will need further peer-review, and noted that their equations may require further refinement as next-generation gaming systems such as Sony’s Playstation 5 and Microsoft’s various Xbox offerings continue to redefine the future of video games.

The paper, which was published in this month’s Journal of Applied Learnings, also revealed the world’s first objectively-best Game of the Year. The historic honor goes to Sucker Punch Production’s samurai epic, Ghost of Tsushima

GotY protagonist Jin Sakai
Sword guy whose name we already forgot also deemed year’s best protagonist.

“It’s funny,” says Jeremy ‘BigNuggzTastEe’ McClyde, one of the team’s researches and co-author on the journal article, “When I played the game, I thought it was just okay. I certainly didn’t think it was the best thing I’d played. Then we ran it through our system, and what do you know?” 

The team has already faced backlash from fans of other games, who claim Ghost of Tsushima suffers from a derivative and cliché story, and falls into many of the same open-world trappings of past titles.

Hamilton-Carasco is quick to point out that while people are entitled to their own opinions, people who disagree with the team’s game of the year findings are objectively wrong. 

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